


Going for It

by Coheed275



Category: Guild Wars
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2016-02-01
Packaged: 2018-05-01 18:51:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5216816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coheed275/pseuds/Coheed275
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When it comes to things like starting a new chapter in your life, or wishing you could be with someone you're crazy about, you just have to go for it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Welcome to the Krewe

**Author's Note:**

> This story involves my OC's. If you want a bit of context as to who these characters are, you can check out the super short version at https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5sy6gPcYJ6fOU5PcDJuend4bjQ/view or a more detailed background at https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B5sy6gPcYJ6fSjFTY3JNVGl2aE0/view. The main characters in this fic are Arin and Ami.
> 
> For various GW2 posts and updates on my fics, you can follow me at http://coheed275.tumblr.com/ and http://coheed275nsfw.tumblr.com/

Finally done. Classes, studying, tests, inventions, final tests, graduation. After quite a tough struggle, Ami Faeror graduated from the College of Statics with flying colors, just like her brother did before her.

She sat with her classmates patiently, waiting for her name to be called. She wore traditional asuran robes of a deep black shade, and her vibrant blue hair was tied up behind her, spiraling out rather than hanging flat against her back. Both her and her brother shared a hobby of finding the best hair products Tyria had to offer, so they could keep up the craziest styles. Her hands rested on her lap, trembling a bit with excitement.

As she waited, she looked up at the small crowd that had gathered to see the event. Most asura didn't bother to attend graduation ceremonies; they were much more interested in the exposition days, where students presented their newest and brightest ideas. Those college events gathered friends, family, and even complete strangers from all over Rata Sum and other parts of Tyria. Ami assured her brother Calan that he didn't need to come to this, that he'd been there for everything else, their parents weren't even coming, and it was pointless for him to come from the Shiverpeaks to Rata Sum just to watch her get a piece of paper. He came anyways, telling her he didn't care how small of an event it was. Though she didn't make him come, she was happy to see him sitting in the crowd, a big smile on his face.

His eyes searched the young students' faces until he found his sister, after which he gave her a big wave. Ami chuckled lightly to herself, and subtly rose a hand up, not wanting to move to much while one of the professors gave a speech. As she looked up at him, Calan started nudging the asura next to him, pointing and whispering in his ear.

Ami had never met this friend of Calan's, and wondered who it was. He seemed familiar, but she couldn't figure out why. His skin was a light grey, much brighter than the almost black shade her and her brother shared. His light green eyes looked down at Ami, and his head nodded at whatever Calan was whispering to him. He spiked up his short, dark brown hair above his forehead. Why did he seem so familiar?

At last, the speeches were done, and that brought Ami's attention back to the ceremony, for soon all the new graduates would be walking up on stage. She smiled widely and clapped for every student that went up, knowing a lot of them personally. As the alphabetical order drew nearer to her, her body wiggled around in the chair. Her name arrived, and both Calan and his friend stood up in the crowd as she walked up, and at that moment, she could officially call herself a graduate.

 

**

 

It took all Ami had to sit back in her seat calmly until the rest of the ceremony finished up. The moment all the graduates were dismissed, Ami bolted away to meet up with her brother, who was running ahead of his friend to do the same thing. They leaped into each others' arms, hugging tightly, exchanging “congratulations!” and “thank you!” over and over.

After a good, long embrace, Calan pulled away, holding his sister's hands in his own. “So, you're a graduate now. Ready to put that brain to work?”

“Yes!” Ami replied wholeheartedly. “I've got so many ideas that I can't wait to show you!”

“Great!” Calan replied. “Because I have a surprise graduation present for you.”

Ami looked at her brother in confusion, and the friend she'd noticed in the crowd walked up next to them. “Ami, this is Darren,” Calan told her.

That's why he looked familiar, of course. She'd seen photos of him, and heard of him before her brother even met him. Everyone in Rata Sum, and probably a good chunk of Tyria, knew who Darren was, even if they hadn't met him in person. An asuran inventor who became commander of the Pact, then started up a krewe of his own to work in when he wasn't fighting some elder dragon. Ami gasped, and grabbed Darren's hand with both of hers when he offered a handshake.

“Wow, it's amazing to meet you,” Ami said. Her brother worked on Darren's krewe, and had told her throughout the last year of her college that Darren constantly hired new temporary apprentices, as a sort of internship program to build up experience and make them more desirable to other krewes. “Does this mean I get to come work with the Krewe of the Pact for a while?” she asked. Her stomach danced as she waited for the answer. Working with her brother, even temporarily, would be the greatest thing ever. As soon as Calan told her about Darren's program, she sent in an application well ahead of her graduation date.

“No, it doesn't,” Darren replied firmly.

What was about to be sadness at the loss of her dream opportunity turned into confusion. Despite the fact that Darren just denied her an apprenticeship on his krewe, Calan was beaming as if nothing was wrong. She looked back at Darren, and he was smiling too. Maybe Darren was secretly sadistic, but her brother wouldn't be smiling at this. Calan told her that with her intellect, Darren would be fore sure to accept her.

“What's going on?” She asked, looking back and forth between both asura.

“You're not going to work with the Krewe of the Pact for a _while,”_ Darren began. “Because ever since Calan joined my krewe, he's constantly bragged about you. Any time you made something new in your college classes, he shared the schematics with me. He kept me up to date on your grades. Got a little annoying, I won't deny, but I can't argue that everything he shared was impressive.”

Calan moved to stand next to his sister, and wrapped his arm around her. “So what does that mean, Darren?” he asked, in a fake tone of curiosity.

“You have quite a lot to learn, Ami, but you're extremely bright,” Darren continued. “If you would like, I believe you working for the Krewe of the Pact _permanently,_ starting as an apprentice, would be much more suited for you that working for the krewe for a while and leaving.”

Ami's jaw dropped, and she immediately turned to hug her brother again, letting out another fit of “thank you” rapidly repeated. In her excitement, she jumped out of Calan's arms to rush into a hug with Darren, but realized what she was about to do and pulled her energy back, instead holding out her hand for another shake.

“You won't regret this, Darren.”

“I'm sure of it. Welcome to the krewe, apprentice.”

 

**

 

Arin punched a wall, immediately regretting his decision after and clutching his hand, wincing in pain. Once again, Zojja stopped by the krewe lab to say hello, and once again, he didn't go through with it. He just asked her how her day was, if she'd made any breakthroughs recently, all the classic small talk.

He adored Zojja. Since she and Darren met a couple years ago and were still close, she liked stopping by just to see how his krewe was getting along. Arin had only heard of Zojja before joining this krewe, it was nothing but a dream to meet her one day and ask her out. Now, she came by at least once a month, and would probably come more if she were dating someone on the krewe. If that ever happened.

Arin cursed himself under his breath. He could take on a beast ten times his size, rush at it with his greatsword ready, and slay it without breaking a sweat. But never had he found the courage to try and get with someone of the opposite sex.

Calan constantly gave him hell for it, too. Up until Calan started a committed relationship with Fenna, it was clear he never felt any nervousness flirting with anyone, of any sex. Calan always tried to find a girl for him when they went to a bar together, and Arin kept making one excuse or another. One day the truth about why Arin wasn't dating leaked out, and Calan went crazy. Arin could still recall the converstaion.

“You like Zojja? But you've known her for almost a year now! If you want her, what's the holdup?” Calan asked him.

“I just... don't know how... to ask her...” Arin reluctantly admitted.

“All this time I've been trusting your excuses, when I should have been teaching you how to pick up women,” Calan replied, shaking his head. “Look, I've gotten really good at reading what people look for in a relationship partner. Zojja wants no nonsense. She wants someone to tell it like it is, no bullshit, just tell her the truth. You've waited so long already, just do it!”

“But...”

“Come on, man. You're handsome, smart, and went to the same college as Zojja. Stop jerking off alone and talk to her!”

Anytime Arin backed away from a chance to ask out Zojja, that conversation played in his head again. Everything Calan said made sense, but he just couldn't get the courage to do it. Girls steered clear of him when he was younger, and that mindset stuck with him through college and onward. She would say no.

Sighing, Arin returned to his work, Calan's words continuing to buzz around in his head. He stayed as focused as he could, knowing that Darren was scheduled to come back with a new krewe member, and that everyone got to quit work early today.

 

**

 

Thanks to revolutionary asura gates, traveling all the way from Rata Sum to Darren's lab in the Shiverpeaks only took a few days. After graduation, they all spent a night in Rata Sum before heading off. Darren went to catch up with former krewemates, and Calan and Ami met up with their parents, letting them know about the good news. By the next morning, Ami had all the things she needed packed, and her staff on her back in case any trouble broke out along the way. Any asura who stepped outside the city's walls had to at least somewhat know how to fight.

Darren's lab was an impressively large building, built out of dark grey metal, and nestled in the mountains of the Shiverpeaks. Darren chose this location for safety reasons; when it came to leading a krewe focused on helping the Pact, testing heavy weaponry was a common occurrence. The krewe simply fired on the barren mountains around them, and the only damage to anyone was a slight echo of noise carrying to norn villages.

Since she already learned an memorized the access code to the lab on the way there, Darren let Ami be the one to open the door. Her body wiggled with excitement as she punched in the numbers, and the main entrance slid open.

Arriving right on schedule, the rest of Darren's krewe was there to greet the newcomer. Fenna, Arin, Batanga, Taimi, and the non asuran members, Crados, Draef, Fennis, and Serafen. There were about a dozen temporary apprentices that worked in the lab as well, but they'd already left for the day. Only the main members of the krewe had the convenience of living quarters inside the lab.

“Everyone,” Darren began. “Meet our newest full time member, Ami Faeror. I know all of you have heard a lot about her already from Calan, but now you can meet her personally.”

Always delighted to meet knew people, Ami jumped around from krewe member to krewe member, shaking their hand and introducing herself. She wasn't the best with names, but luckily Calan had always talked about the krewe when he sent her mail, so she just had to match faces to the names she'd already learned. She stared up in awe when she met Draef. By chance, she'd come across a couple human, charr, and sylvari while growing up in Rata Sum, but never a norn. He was absolutely massive.

Ami was delighted to finally meet Fenna, and couldn't blame Calan for giving up his life of one night stands for her. She was definitely pretty, and Ami knew she wanted to have a much longer conversation later in private, so she could get all the good stories about Calan.

One more krewe member particularly peaked her interest. She matched the name Arin to the face she now looked at for the first time. A handsome face. His vibrant white hair hung down on either side of his golden eyes. His skin was a mixture of dark brown on most of his body and grey around the eyes and ears. His ears were among the longest for asura, hanging down to just below his shoulders. Everything below his neck was well built and toned, she'd never seen a more buff asura, unless she counted those where the extra weight came from eating way too much candy. Arin was all muscle.

“Hi,” Ami said, her cheeks turning a pink shade as she shook Arin's hand. “Nice to meet you, Arin.”

“Likewise,” Arin replied. Ami shivered. His voice was deep and smooth, she felt like she could listen to it all day. She needed to hear more.

“So, what do you do on the krewe?” she asked him.

“Oh, field work mainly,” Arin replied. “Whenever someone else on the krewe needs something researched or acquired from outside the lab, I'm the one to handle that.”

“That sounds really fun,” Ami said. “Do you think you could take me on some trips with you? I'd love to see more of what's outside Rata Sum.”

“Sure, I can do that.” Arin smiled, and Ami blushed again, though Arin failed to notice.

“Thanks so much everyone for coming to meet our new member,” Darren said after all the introductions were done. “Now, Ami is a new full time krewemate, but remember that she's still an apprentice, fresh out of college. She's got a lot to learn, so I ask that you all teach her just like you would the rest of our apprentices. Arin, taking her on field research sounds like a splendid idea. I've actually got something for you next Friday, until then, I'll give her some jobs in my lab, and let her hop around to work with the others as well.”

With that, the krewe dispersed to do whatever they wanted with their afternoon and evening. Calan offered to show Ami around the local area and see what restaurants and taverns were within walking distance. The krewe lab wasn't completely set away from civilization. Ami accepted, and shot one last glance at Arin as they left.


	2. Shut Doors

Ami entered her brother's quarters with him after a wonderful evening out exploring the Shiverpeaks. After a short walk through the mountains, Calan showed her the norn village nearby, filled with various shops, restaurants, and a bar, to service both locals and any travelers that wandered through. With enough civilization just a mile or two from the lab, and all the friendly norn she met, she decided she'd feel quite comfortable with this new krewe position, so far from home. She could get used to cold.

“So you like everything?” Calan asked. He walked about his living quarters, putting some clothes and dishes away that he'd left out.

“It's awesome out here!” Ami exclaimed. “Norn are so big! And it looks like plenty of asura come through the nearby bars and taverns, so I can talk to some of my own race too.”

“Yeah, all the travelers end up there,” Calan said. “Wow, we were so focused on talking about your college stuff that I never asked this. What do you think of the krewe?”

“They all seem really nice,” Ami told him with a smile. A light blush hit her cheeks, and she hesitated before speaking. “Who's the buff guy with the white hair? He's really cute... Arin, right?”

“Yep, that's Arin,” Calan confirmed. He was interested to hear that Ami already developed a crush on one of the krewe members, but he frowned after realizing who it was. “But be warned: you might have picked the wrong asura to get a crush on.”

“Why, is he dating someone?”

“He wishes, that's the problem,” Calan said. “Arin is obsessed with Zojja. He's wanted to ask her out since before I met him. I've tried and tried to get him to just do it, but he's too nervous.”

This worried Ami. Throughout the day while Calan and Ami explored the town, shopping and catching up on each others' lives, thoughts of the smile Arin flashed her popped into her mind. She had to hide her blush every time in happened.

“Well, crap, now I'm nervous,” Ami replied.

“Hey, by all means give it a shot,” Calan said. “But while Zojja is single as far as I can tell, Arin's brain is stuck in the relationship he wants but won't go for.”

Ami sighed, not sure what she wanted to do. She only just met Arin; maybe when she got to know him, she wouldn't feel interested anyway. Perhaps his warm smile and muscles were all there was to him, and she wouldn't like the rest. Only time would tell.

“Let's chat more, but I wanna lay down on my bed,” Calan said, moving for the bedroom door. Ami missed her brother dearly during her college years and was happy to stick around longer. After Calan opened his bedroom door, however, he slammed it shut again, turning around with a blank, stunned stare.

“Are we going inside?” Ami asked.

“Uh, no.” Calan gave no reason why.

“What's wrong?”

“Fenna's in there,” he told her.

Ami shrugged, and started to move past her brother. “You've told me all about her, I'm sure she'd be fine with the three of us hanging out-”

“N-no, she's...” Calan shifted to block Ami's advance. “She's, uh...”

Ami crossed her arms, shifting her weight over to one hip. She rose her voice so anyone on the other side of the door could hear her. “Fenna, it's Ami!” she shouted. “Why won't Calan let me in?”

“Oh, hi Ami!” Fenna's voice called back through the door. “I didn't know you were coming over! I think he won't let you in because I'm on his bed naked, posing rather erotically for him.”

Calan's head bowed low in an attempt to hide his immense embarrassment. Ami noticed this, and chuckled, deciding to join Fenna in teasing her older brother.

“Oh, is that all? Well, that's no reason not to let me in, is it?”

“Of course not, come in!” Fenna replied. “Nothing wrong with hanging out naked. As long as Calan is ok with waiting to get the good lovin'. You alright with that, babe?”

“This isn't happening...” Calan muttered under his breath, his head still staring at the ground.

Ami grabbed Calan's chin and pulled his head up, smiling at him. “You know I'm not a progeny anymore, right?” she said. “Go sleep with your girlfriend. We'll talk tomorrow.”

Calan smiled, still embarrassed, but calmer. Calan knew Ami wasn't new to things like this anymore, and he'd told her plenty of stories about how he used to live his life before Fenna. He forgot now and then, however, his mind reverting back to a time when her innocence still held. “See you later, sis,” he said, giving her a quick hug.

Ami left to search the krewe lab for her own living quarters, and once she left, Calan turned around and entered his bedroom. It was hard to stay mad at Fenna for embarrassing him when she laid there like that.

 

******

 

When Darren told Ami she still had much to learn, he meant it. Her college education gave her an excellent foundation, but every day she showed up to Darren's lab, he threw information at her she'd never learned before. He challenged her, but never gave her so much to learn or do that she felt overwhelmed. She arrived at the lab every day with a smile.

Every day around lunch, she'd run into Arin in a hallway and say hello to him, giving him a warm smile. They talked for a few moments, making plans for Friday when they'd go out on field work together. Arin told her to plan for a four day trip. They had a day's walk and a couple of asuran waypoints to get through before arriving at their actual destination.

Whenever they ran into each other in the lab over the past week, Ami sneaked in questions about Arin. His favorite color (blue), his favorite weapon when out on field work (greatsword), his favorite food (pasta), anything she could think of asking. She remembered every answer, something that normally proved hard for her. That meant her crush wasn't going anywhere yet.

The day of departing the lab finally came, and on their day's walk through the light snow proved pleasant. No biting wind chilled them today, and no clouds blocked the warming sun. As always, the Shiverpeaks were cold, but today the weather was manageable.

Ami dug deeper in her conversation with Arin throughout the day, truly learning about him now, instead of asking menial questions with one word answers. She learned about his childhood, his love of reading, and the journey that lead him from working as a scholar in the Priory to ending up on Darren's krewe. She enjoyed reading herself, and asked about his favorites. Her eyes bulged at one particular title.

“You've read Frexx's Theories on Thermodynamics? No one's ever read that, I love that book!”

“Are you serious?” Arin replied with astonishment. “He's so underrated, right? So you've read it too?”

“Read it? I wrote a twenty page paper on it senior year of college!” Ami exclaimed. “Frexx is a genius!” She bounced with uncontrolled glee at finding a fellow Frexx fan.

The two asura “nerded out”, as their human krewe member Fennis called it whenever asura engaged in thrilling discussion over something that put him to sleep, for over twenty minutes before finally managing to calm down. Ami was shocked to find herself walking quite a bit closer to Arin by the end of the conversation, almost holding his hand. Was Calan wrong about Arin? She saw no reason for Calan to lie to her, he wouldn't do something like that, but Arin didn't appear to be the shy, nervous asura her brother described, too scared to ask out the girl he liked for years. He was outspoken and kind, and didn't shy away from Ami's conversation or questions. Whatever nervousness Calan spoke of, she was yet to see any of it, and the possibility that Calan was just wrong about Arin's feelings for Zojja filled her heart with excitement.

“So, you seem really smart, and you like all sorts of different subjects,” Ami said, not bringing any of her internal thoughts up yet. She wanted to be sure of how Arin felt before saying anything. A failed attempt while out alone on field work wouldn't be so fun either. “So why are you the field researcher? I mean, field research takes lots of brains too, but I think you'd enjoy a lab of your own.”

Arin chuckled. “I do like reading a lot, but I'm not that smart,” he replied. “I passed college, but not with the best of grades. My issue is, I could never focus on a subject long enough to perfect my knowledge of it. I kept switching my interests too quickly, and ended up a master of none. The only thing I ever invented was this custom chestplate for myself.” He pointed at the armor that covered his torso, which glowed brightly in places. Ami didn't know what it did, but the design was definitely advanced. “I just like knowledge, in general. I like doing field work because I don't have to be an expert, I just have to know what the other krewe members are looking for, and why. Plus, feels good to get out in the fresh air and stretch out. Get the muscles working.”

“They work, that's for sure,” Ami said right before her brain caught up to her comment. She slapped a hand over her mouth, and after a moment's pause, Arin just laughed heartily, stopping his walk. Eventually, Ami gave in, and started laughing too. Luckily, Arin just saw that as a friendly compliment.

Arin waited for both of them to get over their laughing fit and resume their walk, then he spoke up again. “But anyways,” he said. “Moral of the story is, I'm not a great inventor like the core asura members of our krewe, or someone like Zojja.”

The name stung like a bee in Ami's ears. If anyone else brought Zojja up, she'd have thought nothing of it, but with Arin, the mention of Zojja's name made her bite her bottom lip. “Zojja?” she said cautiously.

“Yeah, from Destiny's Edge, one of Snaff's apprentices. You've heard of her, right?”

“Of course,” Ami replied. “But not a whole lot.”

“Oh, she's an absolute genius,” Arin told her. “She's done wondrous things in the world of golemancy...”

Ami lost track of the conversation as Arin started to go on about Zojja. He put Zojja on a pedestal of perfection as he spoke of her, like Zojja was the greatest asura to ever live. Now Ami's fears from what Calan told her came to light. She didn't need four years of college to see that Arin was obsessed with the thought of her.

So why did Arin talk to her with such ease? If he was nervous to talk to girls, how could he approach her so openly and talk with her for hours, even though they only just met? Ami knew she wasn't the sexiest asura alive, but she certainly didn't look like a guy.

A terrible thought grew in Ami's mind as Arin talked more about Zojja. He wasn't nervous because he didn't even see her as a girl who might date him. If Arin had always been nervous to talk to girls, his attraction for Zojja probably happened early after meeting her, and the longer he waited to say something, the more his dream of saying something grew. His dream of being with Zojja went unchecked, festering inside his mind, and now, he was in love with her, even though he hadn't even asked her out.

Zojja was a nice girl. Pretty, intelligent, and though Ami never met her in person, she knew Zojja only associated herself with people she liked. She had no patience for anyone she didn't. She'd probably say yes if Arin asked. Getting to know him more didn't help Ami get rid of her crush, rather it strengthened her desire, leaving her to force a smile over her face as conversation continued.

A thought of hating Zojja intruded into her head. That all this was her fault, for making Arin like this. _No,_ she thought to herself, quickly pushing that thought away. _This isn't her fault, or Arin's fault. You've just met Arin, he doesn't owe you anything. If it's Zojja he likes... then just be nice to him. Be his friend. Just because you can't be with him doesn't make him a person you don't want to hang out with._

And so Ami carried out the rest of their trip without speaking a word of her own feelings. She talked with him more about books, watched him practice some moves with his weapons at night, and learned all she could from the field research they completed. Now, because of her decision, two asura on Darren's krewe kept their true desires bottled inside.


	3. Advice

Time seemed to drift by for Ami, as she and Arin finished the field research. She spent the entire time keeping up conversation out of politeness, her thoughts far away.

Should she tell him anyways? _No,_ Ami thought to herself. _He doesn't owe you anything, he clearly likes Zojja._ Telling him how she felt now would likely confuse Arin, make him fall deeper into his own emotional trap. She wanted Arin to be happy. Their excursion together proved that he was a guy worth knowing. Ami fell into a trap of her own, letting her crush evolve into deep seated desire. Calan warned her about this, and she ignored him, only to like Arin more and find herself blocked. 

The two returned from their field research trip safely, and succeeded at completing Darren's request. He congratulated Ami on doing such a fine job as an apprentice, and took the notes and samples from each of them back to his own lab.

“Hey,” Arin called out to Ami, noticing her starting to walk away. She hoped to sneak away from him, retreat to her living quarters to just let her thoughts and feelings settle. She froze in place for a moment, then turned back around. Arin smiled at her. “Darren's right, you helped a lot, and it was super fun doing the research with someone else. I'm usually alone out there,” he said.

“Oh,” Ami replied, grinning in return. “Thanks.” She stood still, unsure of what to say, searching for an excuse to leave.

“Hey, you wanna go out for dinner tonight?”

Ami's eyes nearly fell out of their sockets. “R-really?” she asked. Her heart rate rapidly increased.

“Yeah, your brother and I have this tradition of going out for a meal whenever I get back from field work,” Arin explained. “Thought you might like to come.”

Ami silently vowed to bang her head against the wall a few times for letting her hopes skyrocket like that. She wanted to say no. She wanted to turn around, run, spend every waking moment in Darren's lab, all night locked up in her room. She wanted to avoid his friendly smile, his cute laugh, his brilliant mind. But standing there, looking at him, she just couldn't bring herself to reject the offer.

“Y-yeah, sounds fun,” she replied quietly. “I'll be there.”

“Great! See you around!” Arin waved as he turned down a hallway, his living quarters in the opposite direction of hers. Ami stood by the lab entrance until he was out of site, then promptly found a space of wall to bang her head against. That just couldn't wait until she got back to her room.

A tender hand interrupted her groans and smacks, spinning her around. “The hell are you doing?” Her brother stood in front of her, true concern in his eyes. “I heard from Darren that you just got back from field research, something go wrong?”

Ami said nothing in reply. She bowed her head and reached out her arms. Calan knew this signal well, and pulled Ami into a hug. “Shh, it'll be ok,” he whispered, patting her head. Throughout her progeny years, Ami always found comfort in Calan's embrace. He'd been their for her all her life, learning as many things as he could the hard way, so his younger sibling wouldn't have to. “Let's go back to my room and talk, ok?”

After nodding into Calan's shoulder, she released her brother enough to see where she walked. Calan kept an arm around her the whole way back.

 

**

 

Fenna took a break from work, and by chance arrived at Calan's living quarters at the same time he showed up with Ami. “Oh no, what's wrong?” Ami wasn't crying, but she clearly showed discomfort, walking slowly, supported by Calan.

“Don't know yet, let's find out,” Calan said.

Forgetting about the book she wanted to read during her break, Fenna sat down with Calan and Ami on the couch in his living quarters. Ami sighed and plopped herself down, her body going limp against the cushions. Calan sat on one side of her and Fenna took the other.

“So, what's up?” Calan asked.

“You were right,” Ami replied. “He's just crazy about Zojja. No one else.”

“Hey, I'm sorry,” Calan told her. Fenna nodded in sudden understanding. She hadn't known about Ami's crush, but everyone on the krewe knew about Arin's. “But don't be so down, I've talked to you about rejection before. Sometimes it just happens, you can't beat yourself up over it.”

“I know, I know,” Ami insisted, waving away his statement. “But this is different. I've been rejected before. I dated a few guys in college, and I got turned down way more often than someone said yes. But I didn't really know them yet,” she continued. “I just thought they looked attractive, or I liked something intelligent they said in class. I got rejected by crushes.”

“So, Arin's not a crush?” Fenna asked.

“He was,” Ami explained. “And when I told Calan, he warned me. He warned me and I didn't listen. I tried getting to know him more and now I know he's the most perfect guy I've ever met and now this crush is tearing me apart because he just likes Zojja and I'm never going to-”

“Easy, easy,” Calan interrupted, and Ami sighed, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

“He's so smart, we love the same books, he's funny...” Ami went on, slower this time. “He took such good care of me during the trip. Made sure I was comfortable, well fed, having fun. He taught me everything he could about what sort of research we were doing and why.”

“You really like Arin, huh?” Fenna said.

“I thought if Calan was right, maybe this research trip will get rid of my crush,” Ami told Fenna. “I was stuck out doing field work with a guy I only just met, I figured that would make me sick of him. But now I can't stop thinking about him... and how much he likes Zojja...”

Ami buried her face in her hands, and Fenna threw an arm around Ami to comfort her. “Ami, let me give you advice from the girl's side,” she said. “You like this guy, right?”

“Too much.” Ami's muffled voice barely carried through her hands.

“So you want him to be happy?”

“Of course.”

“Well then, you have to decide what will make him happy,” Fenna continued. “Sometimes the one you want just doesn't want you back. You either hate them for it, push them out of your life, or become their friend. You should never hate them for it, pushing them away can work, but from personal experience, befriending them can be amazing. There was a guy I really liked when I first met him, but it wasn't gonna work out. I ended up making a great friendship out of it, we're still close today. My feelings drifted away, and now I've found your brother. The guy I liked is still happy, and now I'm happy too. We'd both be worse off if I didn't stay friends with him.”

Slowly, Ami revealed her face again. Her shoulders relaxed, and Calan noticed a more content look on her face. Where Calan had failed to find the right words, Fenna hit the mark. “You're right,” she said. “I've just never met a guy I liked this much. I needed a reminder that there's more than one perfect guy out there.”

“Exactly,” Calan chimed in. “Before Fenna, I slept with quite a few perfect guys.”

Her brother's comment pushed the last of Ami's gloominess out of her mind as she burst out laughing. She leaned over and hugged her brother, then turned around to hug Fenna as well.

“Thanks, both of you,” Ami said after calming her laughter. “This is gonna suck for a while, but you guys really helped.”

“Don't mention it,” Fenna replied. When she looked up from Ami, she noticed Calan staring at her. He wore a puzzling grin on his face. “What?”

“Who did you like?”

“I'm not saying.”

“Ooh, do say, do say!” Ami joined Calan in looking at Fenna expectantly. “Who did you like a lot? Do we know him?”

“Oh no, I helped you with your problem, you're not getting this out of me,” Fenna replied, shaking her head and standing up. “I won't say yes or no to any of the questions.”

“Is he on the krewe?” Calan asked. He stood up to chase after Fenna while she tried to walk away.

“I said I'm not answering.”

“Is he an asura, or did you have the hots for something more wild?”

“Calan.”

“Maybe you're throwing us off the trail, maybe it's a she!”

“Stop it.”

The couple swiftly forgot about Ami as Fenna left the room, Calan in pursuit with more questions. She laid down on the couch and placed her hands behind her head. She stared up at the ceiling, letting her thoughts wander.

Ami expected to feel down for quite some time after her trip with Arin, yet she already felt a lot better. She marveled at how far simply asking for some help could go, and she felt grateful for Calan happening to catch her in the lab. If she'd gone straight back to her room, she'd be sharing her tears with her pillow. Calan had always been there for her, and now Fenna seemed perfectly happy to help as well. She'd never stop appreciating Darren for getting her a spot on a krewe with her brother.

Their conversation didn't change the fact that facing Arin would be hard for a while. Her attraction to him didn't magically disappear after a little pep talk from Fenna, but now she knew how to handle it. The thought of forcing Arin out of her life scared her more than never getting the chance to be with him. If a friend was all she could acquire, so be it.

“What will make him happy...”

Ami spoke Fenna's words out loud, thinking over how to do just that. Arin looked happy on the outside, but once Ami found the truth about Zojja, she noticed the pain Arin tried to hide. What would get him to just talk to Zojja? He showed no nervousness in anything else he did, girls seemed to be the only region he lacked confidence. Maybe he just needed... she'd hate herself a little for doing it, but a thought of how to help him came to mind. She left Calan's couch and returned to her own living quarters. She needed to shower and clean up before dinner, after those few days of sleeping outside.


	4. Fish and Rice

             Calan, Ami, and Arin traveled to a local norn tavern, a favorite of Calan’s and the typical choice after Arin’s return from field work. The three asura looked quite peculiar sitting at a booth meant for norn three or four times their size, but they were not the only ones out of place in the Shiverpeaks. At another booth, a charr warrior was locked in an arm wrestle with one of the tavern’s chefs. Two slender sylvari talked quietly in a far corner. The tavern originally meant for norn grew accustomed to serving all sorts of people. They even provided seat cushions to boost asura to a comfortable height with the table.

              Plates of hot food arrived, and Calan asked all sorts of questions about the field research. Arin and Ami took turns responding, and the evening progressed splendidly.

              Glasses of wine replaced the hot plates of food, and the three decided to skip dessert. For a while now, Ami hadn’t said a word. Calan and Arin engaged in their own conversation, forgetting about her for a few minutes, while she stared at her wine glass, running a finger in circles along the rim.

              When a break in the conversation occurred, she put on a smile, and spoke up. “So, Arin,” she said. “Calan tells me you have a crush on someone.”

              Arin closed his eyes, and moaned. “Oh no… he told you?”

              “If I hadn’t told her, she’d find out pretty quick anyways with the way you act around Zojja,” Calan said.

              “I guess you’re right.”

              “So why don’t you ask her out?” Ami asked.

              “Great, I have to take this crap from each sibling now,” Arin said. “I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’ve never been good with girls. Asura are a race of nerds, and I somehow managed to be nerdier than the rest.”

              “Come on Arin, I know exactly what you need,” Ami told him. “I bet you weren’t good with that big sword of yours when you took your first swing. I bet it took you a while to perfect your field research skills. You got better by practice, and that’s what you need with girls.”

              Arin shook his head. “I can’t practice dating without actually getting a girlfriend first,” he said.

              “Not the having a girlfriend part, silly, the asking out part,” Ami replied. “I checked Darren’s schedule, Zojja will be back at the lab in two weeks to visit. Until then, you’re going to ask me out for practice.”

              “What?” Arin said.

              “What?” Calan repeated. He stared blankly at Ami. Was she really planning to put herself through this?

              “Every day, we’ll do it at lunch time,” Ami said. “You’ll ask me out, I’ll tell you how you did. Fenna can judge too if she wants. I do this for you, and in return, you step up and ask her out next time she comes.”

              Arin drank the rest of his wine. “I don’t know…”

              “Do it Arin,” Calan said. “I’ve been telling you for way too long to do it, but I’ve always been too angry at you to help. You’ve got a nice girl over here offering the inside scoop on asking someone out. You don’t pass up a chance like that.”

              He looked back at Ami. “You’d do this for me?”

              “I’m your friend, it’s what friends do,” she replied.

              Arin gulped, and heaved a deep breath. He sat there in silence for a few moments, spinning around his empty wine class with his fingers. “Alright,” he decided. “I give you my word. I-I’ll ask her out the next time she visits.”

              “Great! We’ll start tomorrow.”

 

**

 

              Ami guessed right. She hated herself for her own idea. Arin asking her out every day to practice for a different girl certainly didn’t help her get over him.

              Even so, she felt good. Throughout the two weeks leading to Zojja’s visit, Arin improved. Even pretending to ask a girl out proved challenging, but her advice helped. Once he asked Zojja out, she could apply Calan’s advice, and move on. She kept that goal in mind to keep herself sane.

              “Shy guys can be really cute,” Ami explained a few days before Zojja arrived. “But when you ask someone out, you gotta show that confidence.”

              Calan nodded as he munched on a ball of sticky rice. He sat on top of a counter behind Ami, who put off her lunch to finish work on a golem’s power matrix. He listened intently, patiently waiting for Ami to turn around.

              Ami worked with practiced precision. Many wires, conduits, plates, and a whole mess of magitech components filled the insides of a golem. She slid microtools deep into the golem’s abdomen, working by feel rather than sight. Each movement was cautious, tested, then executed.

              “Almost… got it!” Ami pulled out her tools as the golem buzzed to life. She slipped a sheet of metal into place over the golem’s stomach as it sat up.

              “Off you go, Darren needs you,” Ami said, pushing the golem off the table and onto its feet. Accepting the command, the golem wobbled off to its master. “Really weird to work with plain, emotionless golems after being around Jarx,” she added.

              When she turned around, she noticed Arin’s peculiar smile, the giddy way he kicked his legs about underneath him. “What’s up?” she asked.

              Arin pulled out a small plate from behind him. On it rested two more sticky rice balls, a piece of cooked fish, and a fork. “You work so hard to be a good apprentice that you never eat anything for lunch besides a boring sandwich. I cooked you my specialty today.”

              The fish’s aroma wafted up to Ami’s nostrils, and she suddenly realized how hungry she was. “Aw, you didn’t have to do that,” she said, taking the plate. She took a bite, and her taste buds melted. “You really didn’t have to do that…” she mumbled while chewing. “I didn’t know you could cook!”

              “Fish, rice, and nothing else,” Arin explained. “This was my favorite meal my mom used to make, and the only thing I ever learned how to replicate.” 

              “Well, thank you,” Ami said. 

              “No, that lunch is to say thank you.” Arin hopped off the work counter and leaned against it. “That’s for all the great help you’ve given me. I really mean it, you’ve helped a lot. I feel like I can really do this.”

              Arin’s gaze caught Ami’s, and her heart fluttered the same way it did during their field research. Her cheeks turned a noticeable pink shade, and she wiped at her eyes with her sleeve. “Ugh, think I got some oil from the golem in my eye.”

              “Wait, your sleeves are dirty from work, it’ll make it worse,” Arin told her. He took a quick glance around the room, then found a clean cloth on a shelf near the far wall. He returned with it, and swatted away Ami’s reaching hand. “Your hands are dirty too, let me,” he said.

              Ami had lied to begin with, but she didn’t stop Arin as he gently dabbed her eyes with the cloth, then wiped around the edges. Her shoulders tensed up at his touch, then her entire body relaxed in one motion. She looked at his face and saw how much he genuinely cared. She wanted to tell him that he missed. She wanted to lean in right then and kiss him.

              “Better?” Arin asked.

              _About 50 times worse._ “Better,” Ami replied.

              “Great.” Arin grinned again, and tossed the cloth on the counter. “I’ll head back to work now. And hey, since you like the fish, I’ll make it again the day Zojja gets here.”

              “Sounds good,” Ami said. “Same time tomorrow?”

              “I’ll be here. See you then.”

              Arin left the room, and Ami stood unmoving for a few seconds. Then she slumped down onto the floor, leaning back against a leg of the counter.

              “Why does the fish have to taste so good…”  she whispered to herself.

 

**

 

              Arin slept little the night before Zojja’s arrival. He’d felt guilty for ignoring plea after plea from Calan (and the rest of the krewe) to get over himself and ask Zojja out, but he never promised to actually go through with it. If he backed out now, he’d have to live with both failing to do something extremely simple yet again, but also with disappointing Ami.

              Though Ami was the newest member of the krewe, Arin already felt like he knew her better than the rest. He certainly had more in common with her than other krewe members. Often over the last two weeks, their practice sessions over lunch would devolve into heated book discussions. And she was kind. One of the kindest girls he’d met. She always greeted him with a smile, always asked about his day. After just a short while knowing her, he considered her one of his best friends. The thought of making her sad horrified him. He wouldn’t let her down. This time, he’d ask her. He’d walk right up to Zojja and ask her.

              After several hours of constantly checking the time, Arin turned the clock so it faced the wall. His hands completed his work, but his mind barely paid attention to what was going on.

              When his alarm for lunch time rang, he set off for the lab’s community kitchen, and made fish for Ami, as promised. She found him just as he set the fish out on plates, and knocked on the counter.

              “Oh, hey Ami!” Arin said. “Perfect timing, let’s go eat some lunch.”

              Ami took her plate, and followed Arin to the dining room. The table was long and rectangular, enough space to seat the entire krewe for group meals. The two asura only took up a small portion, sitting near a corner.

              “How’s your morning been?” Ami asked.

              “Eh, alright,” Arin replied. “I just can’t stop thinking about it.”

              “It’s a big day for sure.”

              “Yeah, just three hours left, and she’s here.”

              “You ready?”

              Arin paused to finish his bite of rice. “I can’t believe I’m saying this after all this time. I think I am.”

              “You’ll do fine,” Ami assured him.

              “Thanks,” Arin said. “I won’t let you down.”

 

**

 

              Darren waited by the door for Zojja’s arrival, and she showed up as expected. The two caught up on the goings-on since they last saw each other. She toured the lab for about an hour, greeting each member of the krewe. When she spoke with Arin, the conversation carried on normally.

              Unexpectedly, Zojja heard Arin call out her name when she was just about to leave.

              “Arin, hey,” Zojja said as he approached. He looked to be forcing slow breaths, like his lungs desperately wanted to hyperventilate. “What’s up?”

              If he didn’t do it now, he’d never do it. He’d forever be ashamed of himself. Now was his time. “I just wanted to say thanks for coming by. It’s always a pleasure to have you around the lab.”

              “Thanks, I wish I could see you every time I came by,” Zojja replied with a grin. “Sometimes Darren has you out in the field when I visit.”

              “Definitely, it’s a shame to miss out on visits from someone so brilliant,” Arin said.

              Zojja laughed. “You got that right. Every krewe wishes they had a genius like me around.”

              “So…” Arin’s instinct to turn and run burned through him. He ignored it. “There’s a great traveling theater group that’s coming to Rata Sum this weekend. I’d love to take you out if you’re interested.” _By the Alchemy, I actually did it,_ he thought.

              “Oh…” Zojja teetered back on her heels, and bit her lip. “I, uh… I’m sorry, Arin, I can’t,” she said. “I’m flattered, really but-“ she didn’t know whether she felt ready to tell anyone the real reason. “It’s complicated. I have to decline.”

              Zojja’s words hit him harder than an enraged ettin. He tried to hide it, but Zojja saw the look in his eye for a split second, and frowned. She didn’t think twice about most of the guys who came her way, a lot of them just wanted a way into her krewe. But she liked Arin. She hated to say no.

              “I’m really sorry…” Zojja said.

              “Hey, don’t worry about it,” Arin replied. He grinned, but his cheek muscles strained at the effort. “Can’t blame a guy for trying, right?”

              “Of course not.”

              For a moment, the two stood in silence, neither looking at the other. At last, Arin spoke. “Well, see you next time then,” he said. “Safe trip back.”

              “Thank you,” Zojja replied. “See you around.”

              Arin staggered back from the door after Zojja left. He didn’t know what to do now. He sat down against the wall, stared longingly at the door, knowing that several years worth of dreams just walked out, and wouldn’t come back.

              From where Ami waited, she couldn’t hear any of Arin’s conversation with Zojja. She only heard the shutting of their lab’s main entrance, then worked her way down the hallway. When she turned the corner, she hesitated at the sight of Arin, slumped against the wall, his face expressionless.

              “Did you do it?” Ami asked.

              Arin nodded.

              “Did she say yes?”

              Arin shook his head.

              In that moment, Ami forgot about her own feelings, and instead felt for Arin’s pain. She didn’t speak another word for now. She walked over to Arin and sat down next to him, joining him in gazing towards the door.

              She’d been jealous of Arin’s feelings for Zojja, but she took no happiness in her rejection. The whole point of putting her feelings aside, of helping him chase his desire, was to make him happy. She’d failed.

              A long time passed before either spoke. Ami didn’t know what to say, so she opted to just be near Arin, to sit with him while he sorted this out, and be ready for when he spoke up. That time came.

              “Honestly… I don’t even feel sad about it,” Arin admitted.

              “Really?”

              “I’m more just mad at myself,” Arin explained. “I made myself miserable for so long, wishing I could be with her. I could have just asked her, gotten rejected, and been done with this a long time ago.”

              Arin buried his face in his hands, and Ami didn’t respond. She gripped his shoulder for a moment, then Arin leaned his head back against the wall.

              “I really thought she’d say yes,” Arin breathed.

              “Me too,” Ami told him.

              “Have you ever gone through something like this? Where you thought you found the perfect person for you, but they didn’t like you back?”

              A few moments passed before Ami spoke. “Y-yes,” she told him.

              “When was it?”

              “I… can’t remember,” she lied. “But there was a guy I met once… really cute… then I got to know him and I liked him even more.”

              “Did you ask him out?”

              “N-no,” Ami said. “He liked another girl.”

              “Oh.”

              “Yeah.”

              “I’m sorry.”

              “You don’t have to apologize.”

              Arin returned to the solace of his own thoughts for a while. He still lacked any desire to stand up or go anywhere, and he was grateful for Ami’s company.

              Ami. The girl he looked forward to seeing every day. The girl who rivaled his obsession with reading. The girl who always asked how he felt, and helped him if he was feeling down or stressed.

              The enraged ettin returned to pummel a new realization into Arin’s mind, but not the pain of Zojja rejecting him. He’d felt so sure for so long about liking Zojja, but how much did he know about her? He knew she was beautiful, no one could deny that, and that she had one of the greatest minds of this generation. That about covered it. He never possessed the courage to say more than hello to her, so he never found out more.

              He knew Ami’s favorite book. He knew how long she’d been practicing magic on the side of her studies, to prepare herself for heading out beyond Rata Sum’s walls. He knew how much she cared for her brother, and all the hilarious times they had together before he left the city. Likes, dislikes, routines, jokes, Arin found more and more things he knew. And when he looked over at Ami to find her holding back tears, that sight pained him more than Zojja’s rejection.

              “I’m such a bookah…” Arin mumbled.

              “What?”  

              “When did you say you met this guy that didn’t like you back?” Arin spoke up.

              “I don’t remember exactly,” she repeated.

              “What was his name?”

              “Um…”

              “Is it me?”

              Ami turned away from Arin, biting her lip. With a sigh, she nodded.

              “You’ve liked me this whole time?”

              “Yes,” Ami said. “I-I’m sorry. I know how much you like Zojja, I’m not asking for-“

              Ami turned back when something touched her hand. Arin had grabbed it. She looked up at him, and his eyes melted her heart again.

              “You spent the past two weeks helping me get the courage to ask Zojja out, when you liked me.”

              Ami nodded slowly.

              Arin pulled his hand back, and suddenly Ami’s felt cold, like something was missing. “Ami, this crush on Zojja was stupid, I’m sorry,” he said. “I spent all this time imagining a perfect relationship, I didn’t bother trying to make it real.”

              Ami gave a hint of a smile. “Calan would say he told you so.”

              “And you know what, I think I deserve it,” Arin said. “You and your brother are two of the nicest people I’ve ever met. You both tried to help, tried to make me happy. Thank you.”

              Ami smiled more. “Don’t mention it.”

              “Ami…” Arin started. He couldn’t believe that he just built up the courage to ask a girl out, and now struggled to do it again. “Would you… I mean, do you still want… wow, maybe I need more practice…”

              Ami’s heart skipped a beat when she realized what Arin was trying to say. At the same time, however, her conscious told her to react differently. She hated to do it, but knew it was right. “Don’t ask now,” she said. “Even though you’re feeling better, that rejection from Zojja is going to hurt for a little while. If you act too quickly, you could end up regretting your decision.”

              Arin was puzzled. “So, what do I do?”

              “Wait a week,” she told him. “Let’s skip our lunch meetings, just work in our own labs for a bit. Then, once you’ve had time, if you still want to, ask what I think you’re about to ask.”

              He desperately wanted to ask now, but trusted her judgment. “Ok.”

              “You’re not going to hurt my feelings, regardless of what you decide.”

              “Alright. Thanks, Ami.”

              “Don’t mention it. See you around.”

              Ami patted Arin’s shoulder, then stood up to head for her living quarters. Arin stayed where he was a while longer, thinking over all that happened since he ran to catch Zojja before she left. Things certainly hadn’t gone like he expected.

 

**

 

              The next week dragged on for Ami. She knew she did the right thing, but missed Arin’s presence every day when she sat down for lunch.

              She continued to learn under Darren’s guiding expertise. She came to realize that she’d never run out of new things to learn or try. Darren and the rest of the krewe had accumulated quite a lot of knowledge over time, and she looked forward to the day that she could step away from her apprentice title and become a full on krewe member.

              Her mind focused on work, in order to keep other thoughts out. For the most part, she succeeded. It took her a few days to completely push it out of her mind, and just let whatever happened happen.

              On the other side of the lab, Arin felt the same way. Over and over again, he replayed Ami’s words in his mind, thinking them over. He thought about Zojja. He thought about himself. He talked with Calan quite a lot, and he gave more advice. Calan and Ami stayed on their respective sides of the lab, but their thoughts reached out to each other.

              The week really helped Arin. Now he saw how emotionally supercharged he’d been the day he asked out Zojja. The week gave him time to calm down, to accept the sting of Zojja’s rejection, and to move on from it. After a week, he knew what he wanted, and knew the feeling was genuine, not reactionary.

              Seven days after Arin asked out Zojja, Ami spent a full day working hard in Darren’s lab room, and retired to her living quarters, rightfully throwing herself on the couch and letting out a sigh of relief at the welcoming comfort of the cushions. She kicked off her shoes and closed her eyes, but a knock on the door stopped her from falling into a nap.

              She left the comfort of her couch and went to the door, then pressed the switch to open it. A small gasp escaped her when she saw Arin. He stood before her with a nervous grin, his hands behind his back.

              “Hi…” Arin said.

              “Hi…”

              For a moment, the two said nothing more, both nervously glancing away from each other, finding something interesting on the floor, or up on the ceiling.

              “Darren told me you worked really hard today,” Arin mentioned.

              “Yeah, it was tiring but fun,” Ami replied. She’d gotten a little too good at pushing Arin out of her mind, and realized what day it was.

              “Well, I figured since you worked so hard,” Arin began, and Ami now noticed he held something behind his back when he shuffled his arms around. “Maybe you’d like someone to cook your dinner tonight? If I could use your kitchen?”

              Arin revealed the items behind him. He held two bags in front of her, one holding two raw filets of fish, the other uncooked grains of rice.

              Ami looked down at the floor, as if sad, and Arin’s heart sank. Then he instinctively shot his arms out to protect the food, for Ami flung herself at him. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug as he buried her head in his shoulder. Arin barely realized what was happening. This was real. Not some fantasy of his mind that he never acted on, a real, genuine display of affection. This was a hundred times better than anything he could daydream about.

              He hesitantly returned the hug, still gripping onto the rice and fish as he placed his hands against Ami’s back. At last he relaxed in the embrace, and inhaled deeply. Ami smelled like a… well, right now she smelled like golems and machinery, but still, Arin cherished this moment, and didn’t bother to imagine any future moments to come. This time, they’d actually happen.

             


End file.
